Funk/Selectmen Transcript
November 6, 2006

JOAN FUNK : Jerry, I would like to clarify your statement that I was the Interim Town Administrator. I was not. I was acting in the capacity of [chair of the?] board, to see that certain things got done during the day.

JERRY McCARTHY: Well, that's what [Paula's] doing. She's doing the same thing you [were] doing.

FUNK: That's part of the problem, your choice of words.

JERRY: Choice of words? Well . . . well . . .

FUNK: [Paula's] either the acting administrator or she's the chairman of the board.

[Here Phoenix Funk introduces another smoke-screen word: "acting." So, is she nit-picking about "interim" or is she nit-picking about "acting"?]

JERRY: She's doing what you're doing.

FUNK: Then she's the chairman of the board.

JERRY: Oh, of course she's the chairman of the board . . . she's doing the responsibilities same as you did when you didn't have a T.A.

FUNK: Right. But I wasn't an interim Administrator. She's just doing the work that has to be done.

[If the CCC were less of a personage, we might say that Joan Funk is an outright wingnut.

Also note: Here both Paula and Paul confirm that the board all voted that Paula should be "interim" Town Administrator. And what's the matter with that word? It's clear and concise and everybody with a full deck would see that. But Joan Funk has her teeth sunk in, and continues the attack.]

JERRY: Oh . . . maybe that is what we voted on [i.e., used the word "interim" when they asked Paula to take over till they found a new TA] . . . [then he repeats]: She's doing what you did.

PAULA:  . . . signing bills, taking care of the daily orders which are the duties of the chairman when we're absent a town administrator.

FUNK): Correct. But it's not an interim Administrator.

[At this point, it is to their credit that Paula, Paul and Jerry don't rise up out of their chairs and start tossing ping pong balls at the Phoenix. After all, enough is enough, eh? But no. Jerry keeps his patience, saying, yet again:]

JERRY: Whatever you want to call it.

PAULA: Right.

FUNK: I would think it would make a difference. I would think that the chairman of the board should recuse herself from the board in order to do that position if she's the interim administrator . . . as opposed to the chairman of the board taking care of . . .

[Bingo-bango, now the Phoenix shows her true colors! For this is what she is after: she is looking for an excuse to get Paula Proulx removed from the Board of Selectmen, and will shamelessly do whatever it takes to do that. Not nice, Phoenix Joan, not nice.]

JERRY: Well, [Paula's] doing what you did, so if we got the wrong terminology, then shame on us.

[Wouldn't you think the Phoenix would melt back into the vapors whence she came? But now, she has even more on her transparent agenda.]

FUNK (getting the last word before moving on): Just a clarification.

[But does the Phoenix quit yet: Lord o' mercy, she has the tenacity of a pit bull!]:

FUNK: I would like to know where you are in the process of hiring a new administrator.

JERRY: Do you want me to answer that?

PAULA: If you'd like; you're on a roll.

PARKER: You're on a roll.

PAULA: I don't mind.

JERRY: We had a good person who withdrew, so now we're back to square one.

FUNK: So, you're advertising again?

JERRY: I think that's [what] we're going to discuss tonight.

PAUL: But I think that's a discussion for the entire board. At the last meeting we didn't have a full board.

[Marty Gilman had resigned.]

PAULA: Not a full board tonight, either. Bill is out.

JERRY: We gotta get going on it.

FUNK: To advertise, I can't see where that's a major issue for a full board. Heh heh heh. It's something you know it needs to be done.

[Now we are about to see our stalwart Jerry in rare form]:

JERRY: Before everybody gets upset, they ought to wait till we do something, and then if you want to come in and do some horse-whipping, you can come in. But why don't you wait till we do something. I think that would be a wonderful thing to do.

FUNK: I'm just trying to find out what it is you're going to do?

[Is the Phoenix on another planet?

Hmmm . . . since when did someone die and appoint Phoenix God over the selectmen, demanding to know what it is they plan to do about anything?]

JERRY: We don't know yet. I don't know yet. Maybe they do. I don't know yet.

PAULA: Not yet. We need more discussion.

JERRY: I'll take a spankin' when I do something. But I don't like to take 'em till I do something . . . I used to get 'em when I was a kid just for being there.

FUNK: My intention isn't to spank anyone, but I would like as a citizen to know what's going on here.

[Ya gotta wonder: would Joan Funk spank someone had it been her intention to do so? Watch your bummy, Jerry!]

JERRY: And as soon as we're able to tell everybody we will do that. [Here he turns to address the "audience."] We're not hiding anything. I'm not hiding anything. We're doing what we're supposed to do.

FUNK: I think like you said earlier, the time is crucial.

JERRY: Yes it is.

FUNK: Why wait to advertise?

JERRY: Because a week ago we had a candidate who withdrew the day he was to come in. You all know who it was.

SOMEONE IN AUDIENCE: Matt Scruton?

JERRY: That's exactly who it was.

PARKER: And he withdrew at the last minute, so that puts us back to square one. We have to have a discussion about what avenues we're going to take.

FUNK: So it's not safe to assume that you're going to re-advertise immediately then?

PAULA: Everything is up for discussion.