Cyberdogs strike again

Dogs pull off high-tech heist

Things began to look suspicious when we'd come home from work to find the modem turned on. Next we'd find the computer running in the middle of the night. It all began to make sense when UPS started delivering packages to young "Squirmin' Sherman" and Gunther (the fat old white-faced grandpa dog)-we of course had to sign for the deliveries, since the dogs have no opposable thumb with which to hold a pen, and we noticed that the shippers were places like "Woof-Woof Warehouse" and "Doggie Depot."

The "boys" waited anxiously while we opened the packages, as though they knew what their contents were: rawhide chews, tug-a-ropes and Nyla-Bones. "I didn't order these," Chris commented. "Neither did I" sez Rick. "Don't look at me," Matt added. Mystery solved.

In our absence, the dogs had been ordering dog toys over the Internet, and we can't send the toys back because they've slobbered all over them. It's time to change the dial-up password again!

A great day for birdwatching

Some birds you just don't see every day!

It sure pays to use better bird seed! Chris has been trying to attract more exotic birds to her backyard feeders, and using better seed did it. One day this summer we had a real treat.

As you can see in the photo, she had an ostrich at the thistle feeder, a prehistoric eudimorphodon looking for a "parking spot," and at the platform feeder were a penguin, a bald eagle, and then a real shocker: it's a junko! Junkos don't come here in July!

Rick kicks cancer's butt

Minor surgery is virtually undetectable!

Before

After

Cancer sucks, there's no doubt about that. Even when it's not life-threatening, hospitalization can still be inconvenient when we have other things to do. When a malignant tumor developed on his scalp, a quick visit to Samurai Surgeon (with one swift "thwack" and a short trip to the tailor down the hall) was all that was needed.

Editorial

Hey, what kind of newsletter is this, anyway?

Good grief, not this stuff again! Does it never end? This so-called "Christmas newsletter" looks more like a tabloid, for crying out loud! And just read this stuff. Lies. All lies. Well, mostly lies.

Truth is, we just had another average year. Here's what happened:

Jessica, 21, moved out, and is living on her own. Wha-hoo!
Matt graduated from high school and works at the local Target store. He makes his own music CD-ROMs on his computer-stereo-video setup. He's not anxious to move out-then he'll have to pay his own electric bill.
Chris still works at Cooper, and has become an avid bird-watcher and is increasingly interested in genealogy. She has everybody tracked in the computer, and can even list "alien abductees." Really!
Rick still works as an illustrator at Kalmbach Publishing Co. You can see his work in magazines such as Model Railroader, Astronomy and Earth. He also does some freelance work and programs "shareware" computer software. He really did have skin cancer surgery in January, but the results were much better than pictured here.
The dogs have never actually logged onto the Internet-that we know of.
Chris really does get neater birds when she uses better seed. And if the birds don't come to her, she goes to them-she and her mom make several birding expeditions every spring.

Seriously, though, we wish you and your loved ones an enjoyable Christmas and a fun-filled 1998.

| Graffix | Illustration | Graffix Software |

Rick Johnson <rjohnson@execpc.com>

CHRISTMAS GREETINGS FROM THE JOHNSONS -- 1997

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