Probably one of the most difficult things I have ever done in my life. To actually succeed I need to create a situation which will not allow me to fail. Certain conditions have to be met so that I can not backslide even in a moment of weakness.
Here are my conditions:
- No cigarettes
- No money to buy more cigarettes
- No outside contact, no temptation
- After Day 2, no food for the next 48 hours
- No alcohol or soda during the fasting*, only water
These conditions ensure that I can not fail and I will quit smoking. The first 24 hours were the worst and I used alcohol to avoid dealing with the pain of withdrawal. I drank until I got sick, on purpose. It was my full intent to consume alcohol to the point of vomiting. This was keeping my mind and body from letting the nicotine addiction consume me.
In the morning I had somewhat of a hangover but not too bad. The strong desire to smoke was back as well. This day proved to be very difficult, however the trick is to occupy the mind. I did this by allowing my landlady and her dog psychologist friend to talk my ears off. Normally I avoid conversation with her as it is unbearable. This was different and I needed to be distracted even if I didn't care one bit about anything being said or discussed. It worked and I was able to get through the urges and curb them. At one point she lit a cigarette of her own and I had to leave. Interesting side note is that I did not have the urge to smoke when she lit one, rather it made me nauseous.
Lea doesn't like or understand my actions and is quick to tell me so, where Annie is not bothering me at all after I told her not to. She still thinks however that I'm being weird and extreme. Neither of these girls understands what I am dealing with or what it will take for me to succeed.
I still have a long road ahead of me. So far it is working and with perseverance I will succeed shortly.
* Fasting can be dangerous, you should learn the risks involved as well as the proper method for both fasting as well as introducing food into your system again after the fast.Labels: Addiction, Quitting, Smoking |
