The baby penguin was just learning to talk. He kept pointing to himself proudly, saying "pengun, pengun."

What did his fretsome mother say?

"I knew somebody would lose an 'i'."

Sir Lancelot was losing patience with Lady Guinevere. He had fought battles. He had jeopardized his reputation. He had ruined his friendship with King Arthur. But it was all worthwhile just to have this time with his lovely lady. They had stolen away for a too brief tryst, and here she was spending valuable time on this stupid crossword puzzle! As he watched her lift the quill one more time to put in an answer, he snapped. He'd had it. In a harsh tone, he bellowed,

"GIVE ME THE

PEN GUIN!"

(Needless to say, she thought he'd lost his mind and left him.)